Sunday, November 16, 2014

November 16, 2014

The smell of rotting cells from chemotherapy and goodbyes ... I hate them both. 
 
The smells are all too familiar and triggers flashbacks from Mackenzie's chemo days. For the first time I wonder why we are going through this again. 
 
Today feels hard... it was hard to say goodbye to my dad, hard to say goodbye to Steve and the girls, it was hard to say goodbye to Lexie's friends and its hard to watch Lexie sleep all day. I am comforted by the fact that it is a peaceful sleep and pray that it is a healing sleep, but it breaks my heart to see the cancer treatment rob Lexie of her spunky personality and vibrant life. The teenage years are such an active time and to see that come to an abrupt halt is heart wrenching. I remind myself multiple times a day ... that in time, she may have a full life again. 
 
Then Jesus said,
"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
 
I pray that God's will aligns with the desire of my heart, and at the same time, surrender my will to His. I believe His plan is perfect and I trust Him with everything that has been given to me. 
 
Amazingly, amidst the difficult circumstances that surround us, we still find things to laugh about and cherish these days. We take so much for granted in this life and don't even realize it until its taken away from us. Even though today feels hard, we still have SO much to be thankful for and we feel abundantly rich in blessings. So when my thoughts start to spiral downhill, I consciously choose to fixate on all of the blessings in our lives and choose happiness. It doesn't come easy, but it is still possible to experience joy. 

Tomorrow should be a pretty boring day as we don't return to the hospital until Tuesday. 
 
I've heard we are expecting 3-5 inches of snow in Cincinnati and the city will shut down. I guess its good day to hunker down and hibernate. Thankful we don't have to venture out in the nasty weather.
 
Please continue to pray for healing and strength for Lexie. 
 
We are forever grateful that you are all in our lives... even those we have never met, but are following our journey. 
 
Thanks again for all of your love and support.
xoxo

No comments:

Post a Comment