I know this post should be all rainbows and unicorns seeing that it is Christmas eve and our entire family is all together, but if I were to be completely honest with you I'd have to say that being together is awesome and wonderful, but it also brings a whole new set of stressors.
Having seven or more people in our tiny 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment at all times is hard, having Lexie on edge and sensitive to things the other girls say ... things that normally wouldn't bother her but now do is hard, having the other girls not understand why Lexie is different and how their actions and words effect her now is hard, having Mackenzie seemingly extra needy and emotional because she is used to being the center of attention and has now dropped off the radar is hard, having to constantly care for so many sick children is hard.
Every emotion around me feels heightened, but right now I feel emotionless inside. It doesn't feel like there is enough of me to meet the demands and needs of our family. Actually, I know there is not enough of me which is why I am utterly dependent on God. I woke up this morning and the first thought on my mind was "I don't want to 'do' today"!
Sometimes I dream about waking up with amnesia, and having a fresh start, a "do-over". The strain of living in this fallen world as well the stressors that are on me today make it difficult to resist the temptation to feel sorry for myself. But I am choosing to recognize and rejoice in my utter dependence on God. The world applauds self-sufficiency, and that is partially what makes it feel so hard right now, but I know God says "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:3). I am acutely aware of my insufficiency and I am choosing to fix my gaze on the blessings that have been given to me and rejoicing with thanksgiving... this is what being poor in spirit is all about.
Taylor and Steve left at 5am this morning for what we refer to as the "drive thru surgery". They drove straight to the hospital in Chicago. Taylor had 2 large lymph nodes removed, recovered from anesthesia, got back in the car and drove back to Cincinnati by 9pm. Praising God that surgery went well! Taylor is feeling sore and nauseous, so I ask that you join me in praying for relief of these side effects of surgery. We should have results on the pathology of the nodes on Monday or Tuesday. Please pray for healthy cells!
Lexie had her labs drawn today and we are thankful that her blood counts look pretty good. No blood transfusions will be needed this week! Praise God!
Lindsay is looking forward to the best gift ever this Christmas ... a shower! She has had to keep her incision dry for 7 days so bathing has been challenging! She continues to feel good and is adjusting well to her pacemaker. Praise God!
Praising God tonight for the plan He had for a Savior, a baby born in a manger. So grateful that He loved us enough to let His son, His baby boy suffer and die for our sins. So thankful that He saved us by grace, through faith. Grace and faith are both gifts ... it is our part to be receptive and responsive to these glorious gifts.
Much love to you all!
Having seven or more people in our tiny 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment at all times is hard, having Lexie on edge and sensitive to things the other girls say ... things that normally wouldn't bother her but now do is hard, having the other girls not understand why Lexie is different and how their actions and words effect her now is hard, having Mackenzie seemingly extra needy and emotional because she is used to being the center of attention and has now dropped off the radar is hard, having to constantly care for so many sick children is hard.
Every emotion around me feels heightened, but right now I feel emotionless inside. It doesn't feel like there is enough of me to meet the demands and needs of our family. Actually, I know there is not enough of me which is why I am utterly dependent on God. I woke up this morning and the first thought on my mind was "I don't want to 'do' today"!
Sometimes I dream about waking up with amnesia, and having a fresh start, a "do-over". The strain of living in this fallen world as well the stressors that are on me today make it difficult to resist the temptation to feel sorry for myself. But I am choosing to recognize and rejoice in my utter dependence on God. The world applauds self-sufficiency, and that is partially what makes it feel so hard right now, but I know God says "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:3). I am acutely aware of my insufficiency and I am choosing to fix my gaze on the blessings that have been given to me and rejoicing with thanksgiving... this is what being poor in spirit is all about.
Taylor and Steve left at 5am this morning for what we refer to as the "drive thru surgery". They drove straight to the hospital in Chicago. Taylor had 2 large lymph nodes removed, recovered from anesthesia, got back in the car and drove back to Cincinnati by 9pm. Praising God that surgery went well! Taylor is feeling sore and nauseous, so I ask that you join me in praying for relief of these side effects of surgery. We should have results on the pathology of the nodes on Monday or Tuesday. Please pray for healthy cells!
Lexie had her labs drawn today and we are thankful that her blood counts look pretty good. No blood transfusions will be needed this week! Praise God!
Lindsay is looking forward to the best gift ever this Christmas ... a shower! She has had to keep her incision dry for 7 days so bathing has been challenging! She continues to feel good and is adjusting well to her pacemaker. Praise God!
Praising God tonight for the plan He had for a Savior, a baby born in a manger. So grateful that He loved us enough to let His son, His baby boy suffer and die for our sins. So thankful that He saved us by grace, through faith. Grace and faith are both gifts ... it is our part to be receptive and responsive to these glorious gifts.
I hope you all find grace and faith and receive the gifts God longs to give you.
Wishing you all a very merry Christmas and wonderful holiday season!
Much love to you all!
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