We made it back to Cincinnati and escaped the snow.
Still relishing our moments at home. I often wonder what life would have been like without crisis after crisis. The only way I can envision "that life" is through the memories of my childhood. I just realized that after 20 years of illness ... 10 heart surgeries, leukemia, 2 relapses, a bone marrow transplant and now lymphoma, I don't know what normal feels like anymore and I am numb on the inside. I'm sure this is some sort of coping mechanism my body and mind have taken on, but I want to feel again ... I want to live again.
Don't get me wrong, I think we do a really good job of "living" within the constraints that have been put on us and we always find joy in the midst of suffering. What an amazing gift that is! I am eternally grateful for the blessings that have been given to us and the lessons we have learned along this journey. I can honestly say that I wouldn't change it if I could turn back time. We are better people because of this path we have travelled and we see things differently. I just wonder if there will ever be relief? Will there ever be a mountain top to enjoy or a field to rest in? Or will the valley keep us until we are too old to enjoy the other views?
Lexie continues to feel great! We are gearing up to be admitted again tomorrow for cytoxan and 4 days of ARA-C. Ugh! I don't like the ARA-C and I'm not even the one getting it.
Please pray for continued tolerance to chemo and protection from fevers which is a common side effect that would buy us another unexpected admission.
It is my understanding that some genome testing on Lexie's lymph node is back and we may get some answers tomorrow as to whether or not there is a genetic link between Mackenzie's leukemia and Lexie's lymphoma. I will keep you posted.
Thank you Sue Matheson, Joan MacArthur, Sara Plucinak, Kimberly Wedl and Mrs. Swanson's 5th grade class for the care packages that arrived this week!
I am at a loss for words to express how much your continued love and support means to us. The mail is truly a life line for us and we look forward to it every day!
Keep PUSHing and PULLing
(Pray Until Something Happens and Pray Until Lymphoma Loses)
Much love to you all!
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